Don't Snitch
Good advice for writing a best man’s speech. Great advice for avoiding stitches. The Best Man's Ghostwriter: Episode 5.
Weddings have a “TODAY IS SO IMPORTANT WHO CARES ABOUT TOMORROW” vibe.
Take that shot! Eat that cake! WE’RE NEVER GONNA DIE!
Then it’s time for the best man’s speech.
You get on stage.
Everyone is looking at you.
You want to tell them something that makes them react so you say the most fucked-up thing the groom has ever done.
Turns out, the sun is going to come up tomorrow and you just tattled on your best friend to all the people that are going to know them for the rest of their life.
Oops.
Weddings are high-adrenaline events, but they are still bound by the same laws as any other day. It’s your job as Best Man to find a balance between helping the Groom stay present while still keeping the perspective that this is the beginning of a long, happy, and hopefully judgment-free life.
Maybe you’re thinking it’s part of your job as the best man to embarrass the groom. “Boom roasted”, right?
Part of your speech can absolutely be a roast of the groom. Roast them. Don’t break news about them. One of the things that makes a roast joke funny is that the audience is all aware of that shortcoming, and we love the groom anyway. Make fun of the groom for always being late, or being a bad dresser. Are they a fan of a sports team that always loses? Perfect. If your groom has committed a crime and you feel compelled to report it, there are better avenues than the best man’s speech. I feel like there should be a hotline for that.
Saying something you’re not supposed to in your speech is going to deflate the vibe for the two most important people in the room. You’re here to help them start their lives together. Don’t make the groom’s married life harder from the start by revealing the worst things they’ve ever done.
Episode 5 of The Best Man’s Ghostwriter gets us to our midpoint of the season and the story. By the end of this episode, Nate, who has resisted the idea of friendship for so long, asks Dan to be his best man.
This part of the story came pretty late in the writing process. We were trying to play up a like, “Who’s it going to be?” angle on who Nate chooses to be his Best Man. It wasn’t really reading like that though, so after getting a round of notes, I wanted to explore, what happens if? What happens if we let Nate take a big step forward? What happens if he puts himself out there, arguably, too early?
I’m honestly fascinated by the transition from “guy I know” to “friend”. What do two people need to do so that they both agree, we’re friends? I’ve met guys who use the word friend liberally. Anyone they’ve met is their friend. I’ve definitely met guys who don’t think about this at all. For myself, after having experienced a friendship break-up, it forced me to scrutinize these interactions in a way that I think most guys avoid.
The cold open of this episode is a time jump from episode 4, where we’re hearing a montage that Nate and Dan have been hanging out regularly for a few months. That’s part of building a friendship. It’s repeated throughout the show that most male friendships are formed with people who are doing the same thing at the same time in the same place. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but I also think it shouldn’t be the only metric for how we measure a friend. I’ve hung out with guys multiple times and still not considered them to be my friend. That’s new for me though, since the friendship break-up. Maybe this is exclusive to the entertainment industry (I doubt it) but something that gives me a lot of anxiety is the blurry line between work and play. Are we hanging out because we enjoy hanging out or are you viewing this as a networking opportunity of some kind (not that hanging out with me can do anything for anyone’s career)? Honestly, the first few months of living in Los Angeles, I would leave every drinks/dinner/party thinking, “Oh god, did I say something thinking I was among friends but I actually just ruined my career?” This feels so sad to write, but a big part of growing up to me is realizing that not everyone is your friend. Learning how to tell which person is genuinely invested in you and who is just there for the convenience of association is an important life skill, maybe the most important. It took losing my best friend to understand that friendship is something to be protected, cultivated.
I don’t have a simple recipe for friendship. In the episode, it’s not just that Nate and Dan have hung out a bunch that makes Nate feel comfortable to ask Dan to be his best man. Nate reassures Dan that his concerns about his speech after Tyson’s bachelor party weekend are unfounded. Dan, in a moment of crisis, figures out a way to help Nate solve his suit problem. Dan also gives Nate the gift of venting his frustrations in the tailor shop. I like that as a central component of friendship: it has to be okay to feel things other than “chill” with that person.
WEDDING GOSSIP: The tailor shop scene also came later in the writing process. It was pitched by Mark the producer to replace an absolutely insane scene that he’s right probably wouldn’t have worked, and it’s one of my favorites in the entire show.
Our Best Man of the Week for this episode is the incomparable Jason Mantzoukas. As an improv nerd, it’s embarrassing how big of a fan of his I am. In terms of going from “guy I know” to “friend,” I’m pretty sure admitting that I still quote his improv shows from the early 2010s is instant friendship poison. Being such a fan of his work, I was excited to write a character in his voice. Imagining Jason reading the lines, based on whatever performances from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Big Mouth, and How Did This Get Made allowed the character to come to life for me. Working with Jason didn’t ease my hero worship. Watching Jason parse through Aaron’s insane rants about hitting a “deer wearing reading glasses” with his car made me a better writer. I’m pretty sure Seth Rogen in some interview said that a script is an invitation to collaborate. Working with Jason helped me understand what that means. It’s not just that they add their own specifics. The way that they embody the character, the thoughtfulness with which they approach the performance, adds something to the project that wasn’t there before.
As long as I’m fanboying, I want to shout-out all of the writers who consulted on this show: Kristen Bartlett, Jordan Carlos, Jake Cornell, Gabe Gonzalez, Lauren Gurganous, Monique Moses, Achilles Stamatelaky, Alex Song-Xia, and Justin Tyler. Episode 5 has the run of jokes of the Met Gala being themed “Noisemakers” and that every celebrity has to wear an outfit that makes a sound. Adjusting to writing narrative audio made me realize that a lot of the storytelling mechanics that we rely on for comedy are visual: Cut-aways, flashbacks, facial reactions. Something that we talked about a lot was the line between a joke that only works because it’s a narrative audio series and a joke that calls out the shortcomings of it being a narrative audio series. I never wanted the audience to feel like we were hamstrung by the medium, or in anyway dissatisfied with the fact that we’re getting to make this show. All of these writers did an amazing job making that adjustment and thinking creatively. The Met Gala theme was an example that has always felt like we’re celebrating the fact that it’s narrative audio. The joke is funnier in the mind’s eye because you can’t see it. I definitely wouldn’t have gotten there without all of them.
That said, I love all of the reviews that say this show feels like a movie/tv show! I agree! Keep writing that and fingers crossed, it’ll happen.
Next week is the big fight between Nate and Ash in Episode 6. Don’t Go Rogue. See you next week!